Reflection

While I learned so much through the eyes of the footsoldiers we met and through visiting profound landmarks, the most transformational effect that this journey has had on me is how my new insights and experiences have permanently altered the way that I view and move through the world. One defining part of the pilgrimage that stood out to me was the intentional space that was created by traveling in a multi-generational and multiethnic community of people. While I knew that interacting with various adults and faculty were a part of this journey, I did not comprehend the true importance of learning from the elders’ wisdom until we were on the bus, and I realized how valuable conversations are when you get the opportunity to connect with people with drastically different perspectives, knowledge, and experience. While we all live in a community of different ages, race, and cultures, we rarely take advantage of that diversity because it is easier to remain within our comfortable networks of people who share common beliefs and understandings on social justice. However, those normalized lines in society prevent us from genuinely learning about others’ identity and having meaningful dialogue. Getting to connect with individuals on the pilgrimage stood out the most to me because it was so refreshing and nice to invest all of my energy into one conversation rather than being at home thinking about a million different things or worrying about the next thing I need to do. Being a member of our community pushed and encouraged me to grow and share in a manner I never have before. Before this trip, I never reflected on my racial identity or talked about my complicated past with others so extensively. I wasn’t necessarily expecting to grow in this respect, but I have come to terms with how beneficial it is to do so even if it is difficult, as I have learned so much from others and simultaneously challenged myself to be emotionally vulnerable. For instance, one moment that I am especially proud of is my scenesetter because I was able to amplify and articulate my thoughts. The power behind the relationships fostered by our community especially hit me when I got home, as the stark contrast between the pilgrimage and my everyday life was overwhelmingly clear. I miss being surrounded by constant love, openness, and unending willingness to connect. However, knowing that a beloved community is possible makes me more determined to bring parts of that space and those feelings back into my life. Zooming out, how can our campus, Seattle community, and society similarly create those intentional spaces?

Another central component of the pilgrimage was having the incredible opportunity to learn through the voices of the footsoldiers and leaders who walked, sang, protested, and stood up for justice in a society characterized by utter separation, discrimination, and systematic fear. In my expectations paper, I reflected on how meeting with civil rights figure was a major component that first got me interested in applying for the pilgrimage and now in retrospect, the many interactions we had was absolutely central because it deepened the relevance and urgency of why knowing these untold stories is critical to understanding the complexities of our nation’s inequities. I always come back to Bob Zellner’s quote: “We, who made and lived the Freedom Movement, are now facing mortality and realize that in a short quarter-century, few of us will be left to tell the story.” The truth to that statement is surreal, but also very unsettling. Despite having told these stories again and again, it was moving that the people we met with still expressed genuine feelings regarding how the movement did (and still does) define their lives. I think about Charles Mauldin who lit up with excitement when I asked him about Sheyann Webb and seeing his teachers participate in Teacher’s March in Selma. I think about Bernard Lafayette who brilliantly dismantled the fear in Selma to pave the way for the Voting Rights Campaign, and is still working toward institutionalizing nonviolence today. I think about Bob Zellner who never conformed to his family’s KKK legacy and despite enduring harsh brutality and repetitive experiences in jail for his work in SNCC, is still marching for causes he believes in today. Bob was one person that really resonated with me, as I was fortunate to have the opportunity to have an extensive conversation with him on the bus. One thing he said that struck me was in response to my question about what he thinks the younger generation today should know. He said that it’s important for the younger generation to understand the difference between reformism and revolution, and make sure to maintain a vision of how our actions relate to the bigger picture rather than small changes. I thought that was important because the mindset that the universe is on the side of justice is what kept all of the leaders in the movement grounded since they knew a bigger change was bound to come.

Before the pilgrimage, I honestly had not heard of the majority of the names that we studied or met with, and now when I mention them in a conversation I think: how can one possibly not know about figures such as Emmett Till or Fannie Lou Hamer?? However, then I have to do a reality check at where my knowledge was a few months ago. It is crazy to think about the changes that have happened in the lifetime of the people we met with and leaves me pondering about what will happen in the next generation of social change? What role will I play? A moment that resonated with me was when we met with Robert and Jeanne Graetz at the Rosa Park Museum, as they expressed “it warms our heart and makes me feel like we can do this.” This stood out because one of my hesitations about the pilgrimage was how we – both individually and collectively – would be perceived as outsiders in these communities. However, it was clear in that moment that these Robert and Jeanne did authentically want to share their story and saw the value of their stories being told. While I cannot fully give the pilgrimage justice when explaining it to others, I always make a point to emphasize the fact that what made it so meaningful were interactions such as these because we learned through the unique perspectives of local people. For instance, another experience that highlighted the crucial dynamic of not touring, but engaging, was singing in the First Baptist Church. Through exchanging the gift of song, I felt such a strong energy of togetherness.

In my expectations paper, I wrote about being hesitant about how I would witness, react to, process, and unpack everything. While it was incredible that we were able to travel to so many historical landmarks, I felt like the time that was allocated (and feasible) for both framing and debriefing was limited. With that in mind, if I could change something about the pilgrimage it would be having more time to process both by myself and with other people. It is inevitable that the pilgrimage will be emotionally, physically, and socially draining since we are moving so quickly from place to place. However, I feel like one way that that could have been mitigated is more framing and discussion regarding the transition between the drastically different shifts of energy from place to place and moreover, more conversation how we consciously enter and act in various spaces. For example, moving from seeing photos of youth incarceration at the Equal Justice Initiative to singing at the First Baptist Church was tough for me, or singing in sacred spaces such as where Martin Luther King gave his last speech or was murdered.

Furthermore, a challenging part about the pilgrimage was confronting places of tragedy. One day that was particularly hard for me was day six when we visited Medgar Evers home and traveled through Philadelphia. When we reached the murder site of James Chaney, Andrew Goodman, and Michael Schwerner, the internal emotions that had been exponentially growing inside of me finally broke. When Leroy Clemons was explaining how the three were murdered, the feelings inside of me unraveled to the point where I couldn’t handle it because I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that a person could have so much hatred inside of them to intentionally inflict that much pain on another person. We learn about how various forms of oppression and violence have manifested throughout history, but this proximity brought that realization to another level. In a similar vein, the slavery reenactment was also incredibly challenging because of similarly being so close to death and feeling what it means to truly be dehumanized. This reminds me of Jo Ann Bland in Selma, as she stressed that it is extremely important to connect with this history because they (referring to children) must know how bad it was.

Moving forward, my mind has been spinning with what to do now having such a profound experiences. While I cannot necessarily share those experiences with others, I can attempt to translate the themes into work I am doing. In other words, I sort of think of my transition back in relation to the process we had to do with our podcasts. While each podcast was meant to reflect two days, it is not possible to include everything from those days, but rather reflect the main compelling points and takeaways. Taking that into consideration, I’ve found that that’s the best way to approach telling people about the pilgrimage because it provides an avenue for connecting what we learned to contemporary issues. Personally, I find myself reflecting on the tactics and strategies used during the movement in connection to how they correlate to the young leaders of today’s civil right movement. I think about the questions posed by the people we met with and read about and how they are still fully relevant to the injustices we are fighting today. For example, Georgette Norman who asked: are we focusing on the reactionary outcomes or proactive actions – what is the holistic view of the movement? Furthermore, I’ve found that I am much more mindful of my identity in different spaces and more observant of the dynamics between other people. I’ve also found myself being more critical and intentional in the way that I talk about various issues with other people. In regards to my future career path, my mind has also been thinking a lot about the importance of how what we are learning can be applied in a classroom. This pilgrimage has shown me how a small group of diverse people – like you would see in a classroom – can be a microcosm of the beloved community that we are striving toward, and I find that incredibly inspirational, but also challenging. Teaching children how what is happening in the media is intertwined to social justice and history is a challenge, but thinking about the lasting impact really excites me, and I hope that a few UW students and I will be able to make that happen through the Teaching the Movement Pipeline seminar as well as through elevating the conversation in other organizations I am involved with such as Teach for America or the dialogue and action that we are pushing in Dream Project.

Lastly, in regards to my journal during the pilgrimage, each day I wrote a few questions that were either asked or I thought about based on the context of the day. I thought this was significant to include in my post-reflection because it brings to attention questions that I am continuing to grapple with. Some questions that stood out from my journal are:

How are we taking the responsibility to look at this history as a mirror?

How do we heal the system, not just the symptoms?

How do you define and foster a community?

What is my “Little Rock Nine” moment?

How are creating the content for our conversations?

How can we fundamentally shift society’s mindset?

How do we counteract the urge to dehumanize others?

What are the things in my specific community that are causing inequities?

What can we do to change the foundation of human relationships?

When do you work in the system, when do you work outside of the system?

How are we undoing the bounds and processes of society?

Overall, I am wholeheartedly thankful and feel so blessed to have been a member of the pilgrimage, and am looking forward to staying connected to this beloved community and seeing how my experiences continue to impact my future actions working toward justice.